


There is a light that never goes out

by parkkate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-War, Reconciliation, keeping secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11823090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkkate/pseuds/parkkate
Summary: Harry smiles as he closes the door and watches Draco walk into his kitchen. It still astonishes him, sometimes, how easy and light everything is between them. Being with Draco just feels… natural. It’s only been a few months, but they’ve known each other for ten years, now. And things have been going so smoothly thus far. Harry leans against the wall and lets out a sigh. That’s not true. As easy and light everything is when they are together, there is one thing Draco never does; he never spends the night. And Harry just can't figure out why.





	There is a light that never goes out

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, [JET_Playin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JET_Playin/pseuds/JET_Playin), for being the most amazing beta! ❤ I simply adore you!
> 
> Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter. All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

“Did you bring any Treacle tart?”

“What do you think, Potter?”

Harry smiles as he closes the door and watches Draco walk into his kitchen. It still astonishes him, sometimes, how easy and light everything is between them. Hermione warned him several times not to rush into things, but it doesn’t feel that way to Harry. Being with Draco just feels… natural. It’s only been a few months, but they’ve known each other for ten years, now. And things have been going so smoothly thus far.

Harry leans against the wall and lets out a sigh. That’s not true. Telling himself over and over again that everything is alright doesn’t make it real. He smiles sadly as Draco pokes his head out of the kitchen and tells him dinner is ready.  
  
_Is it really that important?_ Harry asks himself. _Come on, it’s not really a problem is it? You can live with it, right? You can-_

 “Stop lying to yourself,” Harry mutters through gritted teeth. He really can’t live with it. It makes Harry feel insecure and question whether Draco is really invested in this. He almost feels childish for making a big deal out of it, but he can’t help it. It hurts. Because as easy and light everything is when they are together, there is one thing Draco never does; he never spends the night.

Whenever Harry turns around to face him, still panting, still feeling the delicious tingle all over his body, he finds Draco has already climbed out of bed, reaching for his clothes. Harry tries not to show how hurt he is when Draco smiles awkwardly at him and gives him a quick peck before he leaves.

That’s why Harry never spends the night at Draco’s either. Draco clearly doesn’t want that, so Harry always apparates back to his flat, feeling cold and empty inside. He knows he can’t go on like this. He’s miserable. But he likes the stupid git so much and Draco seems to like him, too, so what is his problem?

That night, Harry makes sure Draco is pinned under him when he screams Harry’s name and his whole body shudders. He wraps his arms around Draco’s neck and rests his head on his chest. He deliberately presses Draco into the mattress with his whole body weight. He can’t help but smile when Draco’s fingers carefully begin to caress his back. They stay like that for a few moments before Draco starts squirming.

“I think I should go,” Draco mutters. A pang runs through his chest and Harry tightens his grip around Draco's neck.

“How about you… stay.”

Harry’s heart starts beating faster and he knows Draco can probably feel it, too, since their naked bodies are still pressed together.

“I shouldn’t.”

Harry’s heart is still beating fast and he refuses to lift his head and look at Draco, fearing the blond would see the hurt and sadness all laid bare on Harry’s face.

“Why?” he whispers, screwing his eyes shut. He really wants to know what’s going on with Draco, but on the other hand he’s not sure he wants to hear the answer.

“I just can’t,” Draco says and he suddenly sounds a bit distant, colder. Against his better judgement, Harry raises his head. What he sees in Draco’s face confirms his suspicion. Draco doesn’t want this. Not the way Harry does.

“Go then,” Harry murmurs and rolls onto his back. While Draco slowly gets dressed, Harry keeps his eyes at the ceiling. “Why are you doing this, Draco?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Explain it, then.”

“I can’t.”

Harry starts chewing on his lip, not wanting to sound so needy, but he can’t keep it in anymore.

“You won’t even try? For me?”

The silence in the room crashes down on Harry as if the ceiling just collapsed onto him. The aching in his chest becomes unbearable.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” It pains Harry, almost physically, to say this out loud. He hears Draco hesitate for a moment, stopping in his tracks.

“If that’s what you want,” Draco murmurs. Before Harry can ask him if this isn’t what _he_ wants, Draco is already out the door.

 

***

 

A few weeks pass and Harry is absolutely miserable. He misses Draco and doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s better this way, he tries to reassure himself. But it’s hard to see it that way when he can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t think clearly and wants to punch everything in his flat over and over again.

One night, Harry is just about to go to bed, when something stirs in his fireplace. He goes over to investigate and startles.

“Parkinson?” Why would Pansy Parkinson firecall him? And at this hour?

“Potter!” She sounds distressed. “Can you come over?”

Harry blinks at her.

“What? Where? Why?”

“It’s Draco. Come on, Potter, hurry!”

Harry almost drops the mug in his hand.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Just come over,” Pansy snaps and her face disappears. Harry doesn’t waste another second. Pansy is waiting for him in the living room, scowling at him as he steps out of Draco’s fireplace.

“What were you thinking, breaking up with him like that?” she growls. Harry frowns at her.

“You obviously don’t know the whole story,” he says.

“No, _you’re_ the one who doesn’t know the whole story.” She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I know it’s not your fault. Draco didn’t tell you. He didn’t really tell me either, I was just there to… see it for myself.” Her expression turns sad before her brows knit together again and she absentmindedly brushes her fingers over her throat. “Still, you shouldn’t have pushed him away like that. He’s having such a hard time already and when you guys started dating I thought he could leave it all behind. But now he’s getting worse.”

Harry opens his mouth, but Pansy pushes him towards the stairs.

“Go talk to him. I’ll be down here if it gets… bad.”

“Bad,” Harry repeats flatly. Pansy gives him another nod and another push with her hands.

His whole body is shaking while he climbs the stairs to Draco’s bedroom. What in Merlin’s name is going on? Is Draco sick?

When Harry enters the room, his eyes immediately fall on the bed. Draco is leaning against the headboard, his face is buried in his hands, the sheets a tangled mess around him. Harry moves forward as if in trance. The floorboards squeak under his feet. Draco slowly lifts his head.

“Pansy?” His voice sounds raspy and tired. When Harry gets a full view of his face, his heart sinks. Draco’s eyes are red-rimmed, his skin is paler than usual. His face contorts in horror when he sees Harry standing at the foot of the bed.

“Pansy, she… she firecalled me,” Harry starts cautiously.

Draco turns his face away from him and Harry notices the way his hands clutch at his sheets.

“She shouldn’t have,” Draco murmurs. His voice sounds so incredibly sad, it breaks Harry’s heart. He takes another tentative step forward.

“Don’t.”

Harry stops. He shifts uneasily on the spot and tries to find the right words. He can’t think of any.

“What’s going on, Draco?” he asks, instead.

“That is none of your concern,” Draco replies curtly.

“Pansy said it- it’s been getting worse since- since we stopped seeing each other.” Harry gazes at him thoughtfully. “What is ‘it’, Draco? What has been getting worse?”

Draco doesn’t answer and pointedly keeps his face turned away from Harry.

“I’m not going to walk away just because you don’t talk to me,” Harry says resolutely.

“Well, you ended things between us, so I think it’s pretty safe to say you are very capable of walking away.” Draco is obviously trying not to sound too hurt. He’s talking with so much restraint, but his words strike home nonetheless. Harry frowns. He knows he probably shouldn’t start a fight, not when he is in this state, but he can’t stop himself.

“I only ended things between us because _you_ kept leaving me,” Harry says, raising his voice. Over the last few weeks, Harry imagined talking to Draco about the break up many times. He hadn’t imagined it being anything like this.

“What are you doing here, then?” Draco finally turns toward him, his face set in a cold sneer.

“Pansy sounded scared,” Harry murmurs. Seeing Draco like that, putting on a mask so Harry doesn’t see how much he is hurting, affects him more than he anticipated. Throwing caution to the wind, Harry strides forward until he’s standing right in front of the bed. His eyes don’t leave Draco’s as he slowly sits down on the edge.

The cold look on Draco’s face doesn’t change when he speaks again.

“As you can see, Pansy is fine and so am I. So you can go now.”

“You’re not fine, Draco,” Harry insists. “And neither am I,” he adds under his breath. He holds Draco’s gaze and reflects upon the situation. Being honest with Draco will probably get him hurt even more but, the way Harry sees it, it’s the only way to get through to Draco. He’s not sure if it’s even going to work, but there’s obviously something going on. And it makes him think; maybe he gave up on Draco too soon.

“I miss you,” Harry whispers and begins tracing patterns with his forefinger on Draco’s sheet. Draco crosses his arms over his chest and clicks his tongue. He looks almost like he always does, Harry thinks, but something in his posture is not right. Was it there before? Did Harry just not see it?

“Do you need me to say it again?” Harry asks when Draco doesn’t say anything. “Because I will.”

“Please, Potter,” Draco finally says, sounding on edge. “It was so easy for you to break up with me-”

“It wasn’t easy,” Harry interrupts him with a scowl. “It wasn’t easy at all. I waited for you to open up and talk to me about it for weeks, but you didn’t. You must have seen how much it hurt me, every time you bolted. And yet, you did it anyway.” Harry wishes he didn’t sound so bitter. He watches Draco intently, watches the way his jaw clenches. He always does that when he feels uneasy.

“I told you it was better if I didn’t stay,” Draco murmurs.

“But you didn’t tell me why.”

Draco looks away again, but Harry catches the painful expression that flickers across his face.

“No, I didn’t.”

Harry waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t. He lets out a sigh and slowly moves closer to Draco.

“I really don’t want to push you like this but, please, talk to me, Draco?” He reaches out a hand and tentatively puts it on Draco’s. Harry startles at the touch. Draco’s hand is ice cold.

Harry almost expects Draco to pull his hand away, but he doesn’t.

“What good will it do, telling you?” Draco’s voice is just a whisper. “It won’t change anything. You’ll only want to leave me again.”

Harry stares at Draco. He has never seen him like this. This vulnerable. He tightens his grip on Draco’s hand and moves closer to him.

“Try me.” He brings up his other hand to stroke Draco’s hair. He missed the softness and the smell. Before Harry can bury his hand deeper into the blond locks, Draco slaps his hand away.

“Don’t do that. Don’t act like you care about me like that.”

“I do care about you,” Harry replies, frowning again. “I ended things because I thought _you_ didn’t care about me the way I did for you.”

Draco scrutinises him for a moment, then shakes his head.

“It will only make it worse,” he mumbles, more to himself than to Harry. When they lock eyes again, Draco looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “You won’t want to be with me after I tell you. You’ll think I’m weak and pathetic and… and I guess you would be right.”

Harry can only imagine how much it must have cost Draco to say this out loud. To admit something like that. Harry wants to reassure him, but he finds himself unable to do so. Because… what if Draco is right? What if this thing he obviously kept secret from Harry is horrible and unforgivable? But, a faint voice in his head whispers, what if it’s not? What if it isn’t bad at all and Draco just thinks he can’t be with Harry because of it?

“Tell me,” Harry says, his voice steady. “Please tell me. I promise I’ll try to understand, no matter what it is.”

Draco looks at him and Harry knows he doesn’t believe him.

“Merlin, Draco, why are you so stubborn?” Harry groans. He lowers his head onto their joined hands and presses his cheek onto Draco’s hand. “I don’t know what else to tell you. You won’t believe me anyway. It seems like you made up your mind and you won’t even let me-”

“I can’t sleep with another person in the room.”

Harry stills. This is not what he had expected. At all. He isn’t even sure he heard correctly.

“What?” He lifts his head to look at Draco. He’s looking away again, scowling.

“Are you deaf?” Draco says through gritted teeth.

“You… can’t sleep with another person in the room,” Harry repeats and notices they way Draco flinches. As if Harry’s voice causes him physical pain. Or rather, having his words repeated to him by Harry.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t really understand what you’re telling me,” Harry says slowly. “This isn’t about snoring, is it?” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Harry wants to slap himself. It seems Draco wants to as well.

“If you’re just going to make fun of me, Potter-”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Harry says hastily and finally climbs higher on the bed, so he can sit beside Draco. He drapes an arm over his shoulder and pulls him to his side. Harry is surprised when Draco suddenly turns to him. He swings his legs over Harry’s lap and curls into him, burying his face in the crook of Harry’s neck. When Draco starts shaking, Harry wraps his arms around him.

“Please, I don’t-”

“Shhhh.” Harry starts rubbing his back and presses his cheek against Draco’s forehead. “We don’t have to talk anymore.”

He starts shaking more violently and Harry feels Draco’s silent tears on his skin. Harry wishes he could take Draco’s pain away, but he doesn’t know how.

“I’m going to stay here with you, okay? I’m going to stay here until you fall asleep.”

“NO!”

Draco pushes Harry away from him with such force, he nearly stumbles off the bed. The sudden outburst takes him completely off guard and he stares at Draco in bewilderment.

“Draco,” he breathes.

“You need to go,” Draco says coldly. “Now.”

“Draco, what is going on?” Harry nearly shouts. “You can’t just shut me out like that.”

“Yes I can. I don’t owe you anything,” Draco growls. “We’ve only been going out for a few months. That means nothing.”

Harry clenches his fists and tries to stay calm. “Don’t. Don’t say that.” His voice is low, almost menacing. “I know you’re hurting and I think you feel ashamed of whatever it is that’s bothering you, but don’t you dare insult me with a lie like that.”

Draco blinks, clearly taken aback.

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Potter,” he murmurs after a moment. “You were right to break up with me. It’s better for you to stay away.”

“Ugh!” Harry punches a pillow in frustration. “Not you, too!”

Draco’s eyes widen as he leans away from Harry with a questioning look.

“Seriously, of all the people in the world, I always thought you’d be the one who’d let me make my own decisions. All my life, that has been taken away from me. I never had a choice about anything. And now you’re going to do that to me, too?”

Draco swallows and looks away.

“But it’s my choice, too. I never should have gone out with you in the first place.” He lowers his head. “But I did, because I’m selfish. I realise now how wrong that was.”

“Stop talking like that.” Harry wants to punch the pillow again, but he doesn’t want to scare Draco. “What is so horrible that you think I’ll be running for the hills as soon as I find out? Don’t you have any faith in me? Don’t you know me at all?”

Draco makes a strangled sound at the back of his throat.

“Oh, I know you,” he says darkly. “And my guess is you won’t run away; you’ll try to fix me. Because you think it’s your duty or something.” He looks up and glares at Harry. “And there will be no way for me to know if you’re doing this for me or if you’re doing it because you feel like you have to. I don’t want you to stay with me for that reason. I don’t want to be that kind of burden. I won’t be!” Draco makes another strangled noise and buries his face in his hands. “Please, just go away, Potter.”

Harry’s heart is about to break. His eyes start to sting and he bites his lip in order to keep silent. He scoops Draco up in his arms again and holds him close.

“I’m here for _you_ ,” Harry murmurs into Draco’s ear. “I want you. I want us.”

Draco starts sobbing in earnest and Harry gently starts rubbing his back.

“It’s okay. Whatever it is-”

“No, it’s not. It’s really, really not.”

Harry rocks them back and forth, shivering as Draco’s cold hands slip under his shirt and clutch at his back.

“I- I-” Draco sobs. “I choked her.”

Harry freezes, his hands on Draco’s back stilling.

“What?” Harry isn’t sure he understands what Draco is telling him. He watches Draco carefully as he slowly lifts his head and looks at Harry with terror in his eyes.

“I… Pansy… I choked her.”

“You choked her,” Harry repeats. Draco nods cautiously.

“In my sleep. I choked her in my sleep,” he whimpers and buries his face in Harry’s chest. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to do that, but the light was suddenly out and I couldn’t see anything and I thought- I thought…” Draco makes a broken sound and presses his hands more firmly against Harry’s back.

Harry is still stunned and doesn’t know what to say. Or think.

“So… you didn’t know it was Pansy? You thought it was someone else?”

Draco doesn’t answer right away. When he does, his voice is shaky.

“Yes.”

“Who did you think she was?”

Draco starts shaking again, his eyes becoming unfocused. Harry swallows around the lump in his throat.

“Did you think it was Vol-”

“DON’T say his name,” Draco almost screams. His expression turns agonised. “The things he did to me, the others did to me… and to my mother…” Every muscle in Draco’s body seems to tense as he lets out another sob.

Harry bites the inside of his cheek so hard, he’s surprised he doesn’t taste any blood.

“They tortured you? The Death Eaters?”

Draco doesn’t answer. Maybe he doesn’t want to, or he can’t hear Harry over his sobs.

“What did they do to you?” Harry hears himself ask.

“I… I can’t-” Draco’s chest heaves rapidly while he stares blankly at a spot on the floor.

Harry’s insides start to boil. He didn’t think he could hate the Death Eaters more. Apparently, he was wrong.

“Is that where the scars on your back came from?” Harry asks, startled by how sinister he sounds. Draco gives the tiniest of nods and Harry snaps. “You told me you had an accident in the Potions lab,” he says reproachfully.

“What was I supposed to say?” Draco croaks. “I couldn’t tell you the truth. I couldn’t… tell….” He breaks down sobbing again and Harry pulls him closer to him.

“Sorry. I’m just… surprised.” Harry feels so stupid. Why is he even surprised? Of course they tortured Draco. Of course they did horrible things to him. And of course he’d still be haunted by that. By everything that happened during the war. Isn’t Harry as well? _Not like this_ , Harry thinks bitterly. He still has nightmares from time to time, but compared to what Draco seems to be going through…

“So you attacked Pansy,” Harry says and Draco lets out a little whimper. “Because you thought she was going to hurt you?” Draco coils himself up and lets out a shaky breath.

“Yes. That’s why… that’s why I usually don’t sleep in the dark. To… to avoid something like that.” Draco clamps his jaw shut, an odd expression on his face.

“What?” Harry asks, his eyes darting over Draco’s face. “What is it?”

“Well? Aren't you going to laugh?” Draco asks, his chin jutted out, his brows knitted together.

“Why in Merlin’s name would I be laughing?” Harry asks in bewilderment. Draco turns to him with a glare.

“I just told you I can’t sleep with the lights out. I am twenty years old and I can’t sleep without a bloody night lamp.”

Harry blinks, not understanding why Draco is getting so angry. He notices how pink Draco’s cheeks have gotten in the last minute and it finally clicks.

“You’re embarrassed.” It isn’t a question. “Seriously, Draco? Seriously?” Harry mentally chastises himself and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. “Draco. What you’ve been through must have been horrible.”

“You’ve been through horrible stuff as well, and yet, you don’t go around choking people in your sleep,” Draco murmurs darkly. Harry shakes his head.

“It’s not the same,” he replies softly and begins stroking Draco’s hair. Draco lets him. “I can’t even imagine how terrified you must have been. Fearing for your mother’s life, as well.”

Draco shakes his head.

“Don’t say that as if you didn’t experience the same things. Worse things. You died. You died and you came back and you faced him. Fought him. Defeated him.”

Harry’s heart grows heavy as Draco’s words sink in.

“You’re not a coward, Draco.”

Draco whimpers.

“Let me help you,” Harry whispers and tentatively places a kiss on his forehead.

“No.”

“Draco-”

“No, I won’t let you,” Draco says. He sounds disgusted with himself.  

“Draco,” Harry says firmly. “If there’s one thing I realised over the last few weeks and months, it’s that we’re better together than we are apart. And we’re certainly better together than we are on opposing ends. So why are you fighting this so hard?”

Draco makes a strangled noise at the back of his throat and avoids Harry’s eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice is barely a whisper. “And I’m going to hurt you sooner or later if we keep going with this.”

Harry stares at him, momentarily speechless.

“Is that why you never spent the night?”

Normally, Draco would have probably rolled his eyes at Harry. Now he just sits there, saying nothing.

“You thought you were going to hurt me? But that’s-”

“It’s what? Crazy? Absurd? I assure you, it’s not!” Draco exclaims. “I had no choice!”

Harry ponders it for a moment and starts feeling sheepish. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, he would have probably done the same as Draco. He would have been terrified of hurting him.

“You could have just told me to leave the light on.”

Draco snorts bitterly.

“Right, because that isn’t embarrassing at all. And it wouldn’t have raised any questions, either.”

Harry sighs and shakes his head.

“All right, I see your point. But Draco, I need you to know that I still want to be with you. I want to help you.”

Draco winces and Harry moves forward and places his hands on Draco’s shoulders.

“Not because I think I have to. Because I want to. Because… I care about you. A lot, actually.”

Draco sniffles and gives Harry a skeptical look.

“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” Harry mutters.

“I’m making it very easy; I’m giving you an out.”

“But I don’t want an out!” Harry yells in frustration. “I want us to get through this together. Stop running away from me, damn it!”

Instead of yelling back, Draco lets his head hang low and pulls his knees up to his chest.

“Draco, I appreciate that you wanted to protect me. But… who is protecting you? Who is taking care of you? Please, let me do that. Yeah?”

Harry lets go of Draco’s shoulders and carefully cups his cheeks.

“Please,” he whispers again, “let me do that.” He pulls Draco towards him and gently presses their lips together. “Let me be here for you,” he mumbles against Draco’s lips.

“I hate how much I want you,” Draco sobs and moves closer. He puts his arms around Harry’s waist and shudders. “This is a really bad idea.”

 

***

 

Harry notices how careful Draco still is around him. A few weeks have passed and it still takes a lot of convincing for Draco to sleep next to Harry. They always leave the lights on, but Harry gets the impression Draco still doesn’t sleep. He looks exhausted all the time.

“Do you maybe want to take a Sleeping Potion tonight?” Harry suggests.

Draco shakes his head.

“It makes me disoriented and Merlin knows what I’ll do, then.”

Harry has no idea what to do. Proposing that Draco could sleep in the other room, so he can actually get some sleep for once, is on the tip of his tongue, but it would feel like admitting defeat. Maybe Draco would even feel rejected after that whole speech Harry made. So what should he do?

“Maybe he should go see a Mind Healer,” Hermione suggests one evening.

“I don’t know,” Harry mutters. “He barely wanted to talk to me about it. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable talking to a stranger.”

“What about hypnosis?”

Harry groans, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m out of my league here. I really want to help him, but I don’t know how.”

Hermione puts her hand on his shoulder, a soft expression on her face.

“You _are_ helping him, Harry.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” he mutters. He shakes his head and puts his hands down again, palms flat on the table. “I’m not afraid he’s going to hurt me. But I can tell it’s all he thinks about, anymore. He’s even become hesitant to touch me.”

“I’m sorry you guys are going through such a hard time,” Hermione says. She suddenly turns around to Ron, who has been staring at his hands mutely the whole time.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she hisses under her breath. Ron’s brows knit together as he lifts his gaze and studies Harry intently.

“So, you’re saying he goes crazy in his sleep?”

“Can you please not refer to my boyfriend as crazy?” Harry groans. Ron waves a dismissive hand in the air. Harry rolls his eyes. “Yes, he gets a bit… _unpredictable_ in his sleep. Especially when it’s dark. Because then, he can’t really differentiate between dreams and reality.”

Ron chews on his lip and slowly nods. Without another word, he gets up and walks out of the kitchen.

“Ron!” Hermione calls after him. “I can’t believe him.”

Harry takes a sip of his tea and stares blankly at the table. He looks up when Ron reenters the room and holds something out to him.

“What is this?”

“You know what this is,” Ron says, a bit gruffly. “Take it.”

Harry does and examines the little object. When he finally realises what Ron just gave to him, his eyes go wide.

“Ron…”

“Give it to Malfoy or whatever.” He sits back down and rests his chin on his hands. Hermione smiles at him and brushes her fingers over his cheek.

“This is why I love you,” she whispers to him. Ron gives her a crooked grin and leans into her touch.

“Ron, you are a genius!” Harry exclaims and jumps up. He wraps Ron in a tight embrace, feeling lighter than he has in weeks. “Thank you.”

He lets go of Ron, kisses Hermione swiftly on the cheek and runs towards the fireplace.

When Harry steps out into Draco’s living room, he notices the room is only lit by candles. Draco is on the sofa, his face falling when he sees Harry.  

“What’s going on?” Harry asks, looking around confused. Draco sinks lower on the sofa.

“Apparently there’s a blackout.” Harry notices the way Draco is avoiding his gaze again.

“Draco-”

“You shouldn’t have come here,” Draco murmurs. “It’s dangerous in a situation like this.”

“Draco,” Harry says firmly.

“You still don’t get it, do you? I’m damaged. I’m dangerous.”

The look on Draco’s face makes Harry want to hunt down every remaining Death Eater on this planet. He walks across the room and gets down on his knees in front of Draco.

“You are not dangerous,” he says seriously. “And I will always come to you. _Especially_ in a situation like this.” He takes Draco’s hands in his and kisses his knuckles. “I won’t leave you alone. So please promise me you won’t leave me, either.” Harry reaches up and turns Draco’s face, forcing him to look at Harry. “Promise me.”

“I can’t promise you that,” Draco murmurs.

“Okay,” Harry sighs, “let me rephrase. Promise me you won’t leave me because you think it’s better for me, because you want to protect me. I’ll have none of that, all right?”

Draco scowls at him but, before he can reply, Harry reaches inside his pocket and draws out the little object Ron gave to him.

“Here,” he says with a faint smile. “Give me your hands.”

Draco does, a bit reluctantly, and Harry places the object on his palm. Hesitantly, Draco takes it and holds it in front of his eyes.

“What is this?” he asks, studying it.

“You have to click it,” Harry says. He’s getting a bit nervous, not sure of how Draco is going to react. Draco raises an eyebrow at him, but then he clicks it. Immediately, all the flames in the room turn into little balls and fly into Draco’s palm, leaving the two of them in pitch black darkness.

“H-Harry,” Draco croaks, fear evident in his voice.

“Don’t panic,” Harry says soothingly and puts a hand on Draco’s knee. “Just click it again.” Harry hears it when Draco does and in the next moment, all the candles around them flicker as if nothing ever happened.

“What-” Draco looks around with an awed expression. His eyes finally land on Harry again, who smiles at him.

“It’s a Deluminator.” He takes a deep breath before he continues. “It belonged to Dumbledore.” Harry tries to ignore Draco’s sharp gasp. “He left it to Ron after he… after he died.”

The pain on Draco’s face slowly turns into something else. Anger. Embarrassment.

“You told them. You told Granger and Weasley about this?”

Harry bites his lip and tries not to look too sheepish.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But I thought they might have an idea.”

Draco stares at him and Harry is sure he’s going to explode any second now.

“So… you told them about this,” he says quietly, “and they didn’t tell you to break up with me?”

Harry’s mouth drops open.

“What? No, of course not!”

“And then you asked Weasley for this?” He looks at the Deluminator in his hands in wonder.

“Oh, actually, I didn’t ask Ron. He thought of it himself.”

Harry feels a tremor go through Draco’s body. His mouth is hanging open in disbelief, his eyes glistening. Harry has no idea what must be going through Draco’s mind right now. He looks overwhelmed.

Harry climbs onto the sofa and settles himself on Draco’s lap.

“You don’t have to be afraid of the dark anymore,” he whispers as he takes Draco’s face in his hands and kisses the tip of his nose. “And hopefully,” he adds, kissing Draco’s cheeks. “I won’t have to be afraid of losing you anymore.”

Draco grabs Harry’s shirt and presses his face into Harry’s chest. Harry suspects he’s trying to let the tears fall silently. He wraps his arms around Draco and relishes the warm feeling that courses through him. Hope. For the first time in weeks he feels hopeful.

He knows they can get through this. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Say Hi on [tumblr](https://parkkate.tumblr.com/) :)
> 
> The title was inspired by [this amazing song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9Gf-f_hWpU).


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